Best Funny Poems

it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
...

(For the Rev. James J. Daly, S. J.)

Bright stars, yellow stars, flashing through the air,
Are you errant strands of Lady Mary's hair?
...

Now a friend of mine, way back in Chicago
You know, he finally made his pile.
Well he got himself a mansion on Butler and Sheff
...

A friend like you is like no other friend
A friend like you is a friend i dont regret meeting
A friend like you is like a friend i cant scream at or fight with
A friend like you is like having no worries in my life
...

boys
i don't promise you nothing
but this
what you pawn
...

Its funny how hello is always accompanied with good-bye
Its funny how remembering good memories can make you cry
Its funny how forever never seems to really last
Its funny how much you'd lose if you forgot your past
...

(This is a composition in Pilipino Language the first one I did, the only one, and hope some of the Filipinos will get this funny poem in this site. The poem is updated with English translation)


Noong taong otsenta dekada
...

Listen here. I've never played it safe
in spite of what the critics say.
...

I was once a 'budding' ballerina,
With all the right outfits to wear,
There never was anyone keener,
I had point shoes and tutus to spare.
...

Why I am being pushed to school?
For refining self and not looking fool,
To stay away from home and look cool,
Or to learn the system how to pass stool,
...

He gave a picture exhibition,
Hiring a little empty shop.
Above its window: FREE ADMISSION
Cajoled the passers-by to stop;
...

The eager note on my door said "Call me,"
call when you get in!" so I quickly threw
a few tangerines into my overnight bag,
straightened my eyelids and shoulders, and
...

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it,
And I wish I could afford to gather all such people into a gloomy castle on the Danube and hire half a dozen capable Draculas to haunt it.
...

What Birthday Card, for him, can I acquire,
An ordinary one is not what he'd desire,
Perhaps it needs a 'funny' joke,
That's right for a 'fun' bloke,
...

I'll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
...

Can't compose a rhyme?
Don't have the time?
My brain's gone dead?
What's that you said?
...

Hen laid an eggs, between legs two,
No small, no big but not in zoo,
Ran after those who made slight dig,
Dog, cat and crow planned very big,
...

We've tried so hard to understand, but we can't.
There is nothing else left in our hand!
We werent meant to be
I tried my hard to be together
...

I cannot explain the way I feel about you
Girl, you're always on my mind
Everytime I often think of you
I get a funny feeling that
...

345

Funny—to be a Century—
And see the People—going by—
...

Alimony alimony I work till my fingers are bloody and boney
Me oh my oh goodness sake I'm paying for my mistake
...

So often today
You have entered me,
Like a cool summer breeze,
Through the Sun-burnt grooves.
...

I WROTE some lines once on a time
In wondrous merry mood,
And thought, as usual, men would say
They were exceeding good.
...

We laugh at the same funny things,
Our quick sense of humour just springs
From being together,
Whatever the weather,
...

I set off a stink bomb
At the art opening of bad art.
It was funny how everyone started
Looking around as if they
...

I find it very hard to be fair-minded
About people who go around being air-minded.
I just can't see any fun
In soaring up up up into the sun
...

"There is no God," the wicked saith,
"And truly it's a blessing,
For what He might have done with us
It's better only guessing."
...

One way to be very happy is to be very rich
For then you can buy orchids by the quire and bacon by the flitch.
And yet at the same time People don't mind if you only tip them a dime,
Because it's very funny
...

If dogs could speak, O Mademoiselle,
What funny stories they could tell!
For instance, take your little "peke,"
How awkward if the dear could speak!
...

It's funny how
You make me cry,
Make me feel
Like I'm a lie.
...

I had a Donkey, that was all right,
But he always wanted to fly my Kite;
Every time I let him, the String would bust.
Your Donkey is better behaved, I trust.
...

The poets rustle in the woods of verses.
...

Believe in dreams when you`re alone,
When nothing makes your soul smile,
If you don`t want to speak by phone
And read by own written file.
...

I’d love to swim in a sea of you,
Or Better yet
Your private sea.
For it’s quite amazing
...

Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it learned to walk with out having feet
...

Wandering alone in this empty
forest of darkness, stumbling
and falling as I go wondering
if the darkness now will be
...

Mother, your baby is silly! She is so absurdly childish!
She does not know the difference between the lights in the
streets and the stars.
When we play at eating with pebbles, she thinks they are real
...

.
I suppose it is an adventure
to NOT fall off a chair,
but I was seeking
...

Today the world is a little more my own.
No need to remember the pain
A blue-frocked woman caused, throwing
Words at me like pots and pans, to drain
...

The end of anything comes rather easy,
Time is not like a clock, time is freaky.
...

What can be termed as mood?
Can that be called conducive for good?
Situation may not take you out of wood
You may not even like or prefer food
...

How funny you are today New York
like Ginger Rogers in Swingtime
and St. Bridget's steeple leaning a little to the left
...

The eager note on my door said "Call me,"
call when you get in!" so I quickly threw
a few tangerines into my overnight bag,
straightened my eyelids and shoulders, and
...

Grinning pumpkins, falling leaves,
Dancing scarecrows, twirling breeze,
Color, color everywhere,
Autumn dreams are in the air! Autumn is a woman growing old,
...

A limerick can be rather funny
when the syllables are on the money.
But when none of it fits
it can give you the shits
...

Christopher Robin and Pooh walked slowly down the path in the woods, treading on the occasional crackly twig.

'CR...' said Pooh, 'What's a Poeh Tree? Is it the same as a Poem, or a hum? '
...

No, Bill, I'm not a-spooning out no patriotic tosh
(The cove be'ind the sandbags ain't a death-or-glory cuss).
And though I strafes 'em good and 'ard I doesn't 'ate the Boche,
I guess they're mostly decent, just the same as most of us.
...

Dear Sister,

I remember your name,
I remember your face,
...

Well I've been spendin' my life lookin' for a shoulder
To rest my head when the nights get colder
...

When it’s cold outside
Put on something warm
and take it for a walk
if that’s possible
...

"Ah! don't you remember, 'tis almost December,
And soon will the holidays come;
Oh, 'twill be so funny, I've plenty of money,
I'll buy me a sword and a drum. "
...

Chocolate is funny
chocolate is fun
you can spread it on your body
you can lick it with your tongue
...

Napoleon's hat is an obvious choice I guess to list as a famous
hat, but that's not the hat I have in mind. That was his hat for
show. I am thinking of his private bathing cap, which in all hon-
esty wasn't much different than the one any jerk might buy at a
...

She

I'm waiting for the man I hope to wed.
I've never seen him - that's the funny part.
...

The meanest trick I ever knew
Was one I know you never do.
I saw a Goop once try to do it,
And there was nothing funny to it.
...

What should I be but a prophet and a liar,
Whose mother was a leprechaun, whose father was a friar?
Teethed on a crucifix and cradled under water,
What should I be but the fiend's god-daughter?
...

There were three of us
that summer

you me &
...

all the money
to the last penny
was found to be proxy
in that country
...

I'm the boss
You do not cross
The king of my domain
For the day
...

Life is simple and gay
The bright sun rings with a quiet sound
The sound of the bells has quieted
down
...

Hey Lady Godiva, ridin´ through the town
Naked on your big white horse
With your long hair hangin´ down
...

where was heaven?
when my father died,
with tears in my eyes i cried,
...

My business is words. Words are like labels,
or coins, or better, like swarming bees.
I confess I am only broken by the sources of things;
...

My daddy’s so funny; always making me laugh
But, he’s the best daddy anybody could have
Every time he comes around he has something funny to say
On days when I feel down daddy can always makes my day
...

Do you ever watch the sunset
And just sit and think about things
Just you and the sky and darkness
Giving your thoughts some wings
...

My heart's aflutter!
I am standing in the bath tub
crying. Mother, mother
who am I? If he
...

Six weeks old today mamma
a birthday gift for me,
a pair of big brown eyes through
one day i will see.
...

The barking spiders all march in
just past dinner time.
Some big, some small, they come to call
floating on the wind behind.
...

It was funny in my childhood to be missing.
Hardly anyone is there who is never lost
Hardly anyone is there who has never l come back.
Likewise playing such hide and seek game
...

There is a funny little man,
In everybody's house,
This funny, quiet little man,
Is sneaky as a mouse,
...

Not so young and vibrant anymore
Wonder what the future holds in store
What contract did I sign on coming in?
When does the living end and death begin?
...

My minds image of my Ellen
Is like a rose preserved from time.
Or like a treasured bottle
from a vintage year for wine.
...

The day the circus came to town,
my favorite was the circus clown
with his great big shoes
and funny clothes,
...

Testosterone muscled men have,
The Top and the center, the caves,
Something is there to do the basic,
Nothing is there to think angelic,
...

Couple's normal arguments stepped to a skirmish,
no one wanted to retreat for an ego clash.

end came as a silent agreement, no talk no more,
...

Her mind
was a Mobeus strip

which every now & then
...

I cry when I am hurting
and sometimes when I'm sad.
I cry when I get punished
'cause I've done something bad.
...

Sister Sister
...