Best Sarcastic Poems

AS I sat alone, by blue Ontario's shore,
As I mused of these mighty days, and of peace return'd, and the dead
that return no more,
...

Phoebus, sitting one day in a laurel-tree's shade,
Was reminded of Daphne, of whom it was made,
For the god being one day too warm in his wooing,
She took to the tree to escape his pursuing
...

LARA. [1]

CANTO THE FIRST.
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HOW oft has sounded whip and wheel,
How oft is buckled spur to heel,
How many a steed in short relay
Stands harnessed on the king's highway,
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2nite at dinner, i was being rude...making fun of the food...
i was being sarcastic and nasty
iwas talking over people, mimicking them, being sassy
and once we got home, you got the courage to confront me...
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BRIGHT was the summer's noon when quickening steps
Followed each other till a dreary moor
Was crossed, a bare ridge clomb, upon whose top
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My country, tis of thee,
Sweet land of felony,
Of thee I sing, -
Land where my fathers fried
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Sandoval. You loved the daughter of Don Manrique?
Earl Henry. Loved?
Sandoval. Did you not say you wooed her?
Earl Henry. Once I loved
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The Serfs are glad through Lara's wide domain,
And slavery half forgets her feudal chain;
He, their unhoped, but unforgotten lord--
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The winds
of Heaven

like God’s wrath
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My enemy has died.
I am very sad today
he was the only enemy I could identify.
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I'm sin,
and i wear a mask with it.(real)

I wear painted on tears
...

By the dry road the fathers cough and spit,
This is their room. They are the ones who hung
That bloody sun upon the southern wall
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Whene'er I poke
Sarcastic joke
Replete with malice spiteful,
The people vile
...

A true episode,
When I came to Bombay,
Just after my graduation in Kerala,
I was an innocent twenty year old
...

Now mirk December's dowie face
Glours our the rigs wi' sour grimace,
While, thro' his minimum of space,
The bleer-ey'd sun
...

Gracious and lovable and sweet,
She made his jaded pulses beat,
And made the glare of streets grow dim
...

You may think from the title
That this is a sarcastic poem
But really, I do love my job! !
...

The Other Night I got the blues and tried to smile in vain.
I couldn’t chuck a chuckle at the foolery of Twain;
When Ward and Billings failed to bring a twinkle to my eye,
I turned my eyes to Hansard of the fifteenth of July
...

I sometimes sit beneath a tree
And read my own sweet songs;
Though naught they may to others be,
Each humble line prolongs
...

Way down in the Boom Belt lived Mrs. Roselle;
A person named Petrie, he lived there as well;
But Mr. Roselle he resided away
Sing tooral iooral iooral iay.
...

Often, when o'er tree and turret,
Eve a dying radiance flings,
By that ancient pile I linger
Known familiarly as 'King's.'
...

I am not stingy saying I
no, I am not selfish using I
but you know I
I love you
...

every journey will take some steps
not one but more...to reach the object aimed...

ignorance…let’s swim in it
...

Be happy!

Even if...
your confused, hurt, anxious
...

The Shearers squint along the pens, they squint along the ‘shoots;’
The shearers squint along the board to catch the Boss’s boots;
...

' hello amber, how've you been? '

'fine, for the most part- been a rough year thus far'
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Smile differs
With something to offer
To avert war
If so then smile like star
...

pluck off
When chickens swear

a meeting of minds
...

In my life I’ve never told a girl I love her so
And how I’d hold her so tight and never let her go
But in the past I met you and I made you an exception
Sometimes were rough but I figured we'd prevent the birth of war like contraception
...

Inamoratas, with an approbation,
Bestowed his title. Blessed his inclination.
He wakes, unwinds, elaborately: a cat
Tawny, reluctant, royal. He is fat
...

I am fed up with walking all this way!
Why have you laid a road so long for me?
You are the one who never walks along with me
And hiding somewhere aren`t you observing me?
...

Under Levantine'slights
and fatherland's colours
our laughter was agitating the hush
οf our inactive flaccidness
...

A donkey stood inside his box,
and, looking down saw four white socks.
As just that day the donkey's teacher
had said that socks ain't donkey features.
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I have been gone now for a while
letting words with a sarcastic touch
get to me somehow and hurt me
I am sensitive oh, way too much
...

(Dedicated to all women, daughters of middle class parents who are undergoing a traumatic life in their rich in-laws house, because of status difference)
...

As one who, long in thickets and in brakes
Entangled, winds now this way and now that
His devious course uncertain, seeking home;
...

Do not become tool
You shall look fool first
As people shall cut jokes
And offer sarcastic strokes
...

to the coffin, from cradle
surpass sarcastic smiling hurdles
did i get, for what i was sent? ? ?
to learn, that i was meant.
...

Recently I heard a poet say that limericks should not rhyme because there is no rhyme for the word 'limerick'. This seemed flimsy reasoning to me but anyway I set myself to find some rhymes for Limerick. Here are some of the (very silly) results:

(1)
Said a poet composing a limerick
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In the wind chill,
A broken-wing lavish bird
Crash-land to my wistful world
and begged for a shelter.
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Pervaiz sets off for work.
Abbu cycle!
Words dressed in
glimmering glory
...

A wound is inflicted but still can’t be seen
This crime we daily commit and are often the scene
It is easy means to inflict and remain unseen
Many people are experts in this and very keen
...

The moon sometimes puts on a ruddy face
With mocking look or sarcastic grimace.
Sometimes it seems to frown as if to reprimand
The antics of a rabid mob in a lawless land.
...

As we all only once were an embryo the conditioning
of societal norms was an abstract formula of subtraction.
The minus sign hung over our future initiating
no ripples in our brainwaves that streamed so freely.
...

Never did I think;
I would come across
Such a lovely face
And ever did I think;
...

Genius! thou gift of Heav'n! thou light divine!
Amid what dangers art thou doom'd to shine!
...

She embraced me in the pitch darkness
And her rigourous kiss was very painful
As her wisdom tooth pierced my pale lips.
And she raped me.
...

I did not blinded with the Muse, my dear:
She'll not be called the beauty, charming heart,
And throngs of youths, when sought her passing here,
As crazy lovers, will not run behind.
...

Call me not by name
I really feel shame
Not that they call me by real
But by bad name with sarcastic drill
...

God and devil
Met again
For their debate
Who is more successful
...

In this song of Jayadeva, Radha is portrayed as a victim of many emotions. On one hand, she is extremely sad, angry and jealous because Hari is not with her. On the other hand, she is smitten by the fiery and intoxicating arrows of the Cupid. This makes Radha yearn for Krishna more and more. Radha talks to her Sakhi or friend in a sarcastic fashion imagining her beloved Krishna engrossed in amorous plays with the other maidens of Vrindavana.

"O Sakhi! Why the hell are you unhappy?
Does it matter if that unsympathetic dumb- fool does not come?
...

Cover my eyes that I might not see intolerance
that I should, with handkerchief in hand,
catch the falling tears,
shed with collective sadness
...

To
Mahboob Hossain Chintu
(My dear Friend)
(Reply to Comments about my poem Donald Trump)
...

The wayfarer you must be tired now.
Here the inn to get a rest for a while.
Don't be scared, on your wearisome journey
there is no any weighbridge to weigh
...

When slapped by raving rants
Or flamed with insults.
When slurred by sarcastic sneers.
I know your blood will boil,
...

The Conductor:

With eyes opened wide
looked for the poor man;
...

I am typical shy girl
Parent often call me pearl
Many pet names are kept by sisters
When I hear them my eyes glitter
...

Durable kitten meddling around the alley
Hoping for miraculous savior and a place called home
Convincing voices broke the quiet night
Patrons and pathetic pouring in incessantly
...

The waitress asked “ready to order”
I said “I’d like that with a please”
A sarcastic please was included
To go with my two fresh cream tea’s
...

His smile through the gap of his front teeth still lingers on
Uttering his last words 'thanks' in a colloquial accent
He went in, his eyes tired but, filled with rare tears of emotion
A roar of the masses, a comrade, has just disappeared,
...

Jester's

great art!
...

Oh the wife she tried to tell me that 'twas nothing but the thrumming
Of a wood-pecker a-rapping on the hollow of a tree;
And she thought that I was fooling when I said it was the drumming
Of the mustering of legions, and 'twas calling unto me;
...

There is no light in this frozen heart.
No refractions of love to heat my soul.
I am absent from my own thoughts.
Inconclusive though they may be.
...

Who won the debate in the polls?
It depends on who one extolls.
CNBC, Time & Fox said it was Trump,
While CNN sided with the frump.
...

Laid alone in the dust a lily petal,
Broken and dejected from her family,
With no one to play or to battle,
She just murmered her honest plea,
...

The graceful dancing twigs
made by the excruciating breeze of the fresh air,
I am completely and clearly relaxed, as clear as the cascading river
How peaceful it is,
...

Poetry scholastic, pedantic and medievalistic,
Poetry classical and theological,
Poetry metaphysical, moralistic and spiritual,
Poetry romantic, spontaneous, natural, imaginative, lyrical, fanciful and loveful,
...

Butt hurts

I feel pain in my butt
-whenever I hear
...

Selfishness and stupidity
tend to be our guides
sarcastic deft acridity
laughing by their side.
...

During the death dances of the Women and men,
I fell that I'm lost in a rainy black glen

Laugh loudly, say funny but DIRTY words,
...

Sensing a secluded sarcastic mumble
Mighty ocean, holding up her breath
Commiserating chase, paused the pace
As if, to scan the universe of distance
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She was being sarcastic when she said that he was a hunk.
But she really thought that he was a punk.
She thought that he was lower than a snake.
And she wanted to drown him in the lake.
...

Everyone is vital
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A tree in a desert
Lonely and desolate
...

I have volunteered myself, to you
on occasions, many...
Christmas Eves, that promised purifying snow
to blanket the loneliness
...

She is simple
She is gentle
She is intelligent
She is diligent
...

Let's sit down and break some bread, pass the wine and ash tray.
Some sweet jazz, Oscar Peterson, Fats Waller and lady Holiday
A table for elbows to lean on as the smoke circles the light
A table as round as his glasses, we will spend this amazing night
...

In Family

In family we share a common cosmic bond.
From brother to brother, sister to brother
...

It's raining down on Old Vienna
Funny I lost my new umbrella
Hearing in my inner ear the strains of Schubert
Pulling my heartstrings as I shed a tear
...

'Are you going to serve up epigram and chips? '

'Yes, I'm going to make you eat your words.'
...

A basic vocabulary and some original Letters of Advice from a poetic dialogue stretching over 200 years have been included in the notes at the end of the poem itself and before the original poem and other parodies included for reference

As in any conversation retaining a coherent theme throughout it should make enjoyable sense wherever the thread is taken up or dropped.
...

Sarcastic?
I am not!
I am cynical.
With touches of skepticism,
...

An ancient terra-cotta Faun,
A laughing note in 'mid the green,
Grins at us from the central lawn,
With secret and sarcastic mien.
...

MY emotions have no color,
just a visionary statement,
probing my isolation, outraged,
by all these sarcastic words,
...

Get away from that dumpster.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I don't care about you pretending not to know me.
Turn your head the other way if you want to.
...

Life's a mystery
And its creator, too mysterious
And I'm not a mystic at all
Fettered by cosmic link
...

I try not to care.
But it only hurts more.
I try to hold my head.
But its hard to ignore.
...

Escape to la la land.
Get away from my dreams.
Say goodbye to my smile.
Hello silent screams.
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You are true to your self
The sea has enough in its shelf
Still it remains calm and quiet
The feelings are definitely made know or let
...

The fear of an error is already an error
If it is revealed at the end then it is fear
You may go into any depth and analyze
It can be had in maximum or crystallize
...

No stop signal
Tuesday,5th May 2020

Let there be no confusion
...

A child is born, carrying over gene
Love surrounds him with its arms
Child wants to reach every corner
Up in the air, flies a Balloon
...

Vulnerability sets in
Winter cold rubs in
Silver lines drove
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The question that lingers the most is why?
Why must I open my sarcastic mouth to joke?
why must criticize people as they go by?
Why is it most dangerous animals that I want to poke?
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Again I will emerge
again I will surge
Though troubles are there
challenges are there
...

When somebody smiles?
Think before you
Return the smile
First, assess
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Butterflies, Complete panic,
A thrill of excitement.
Watching the water, pure and clear,
A feeling of wanting, drilling through my mind.
...

Why are you leaving me a tree and a rock?
We here are experiencing a severe deficit crisis.
And we need more from our clients,
Than sarcastic gifts!
...

Of all the ill-fated
Boys ever created
Young Jack was the wretchedest lad:
An emphatic, erratic,
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Just like the mariner of Coleridge’s
The Rime of The Ancient Mariner,
Holding the hand of the wedding guest,
The writer kept telling the tales of life,
...