Laughs historically,
Its seems like I'm going back to the old days,
The days days when I used to write my verses like I'm on a roll,
Trynna keep my writing to myself,
...
I keep juggling words in my head, seeing all the words turn into lyrics, I ain't trynna make this another gimmick nor a publicity stunt,
Never been that type of person that's into fame,
Even though all my friends are famous I kinda think that's lame,
Fame is just another name tag given to you,
...
I have this pain deep inside that I never let the world see,
I grab my pen and write down all my failed attempts as I keep drifting from reality,
Seeing my trembling from a distant, Asking myself why I'm so distant, I'm convicted
I'm convinced that I predict that all my wishes on my wish list won't be heard
...
Thoughts getting dangerous might i just put on my make up and drown in self-hatred. I could be Intricate with every syllable, I'm a criminal
Intimate, but never political, pretty visua. See I'm inventive, but quite the menace, you ain't know? I'm kinda funny but don't really show it
I keep it together but have a disorder,
I go to my room and I sit in my corner and to be honest with you lately, I got nothin' to lose
...
I keep trying to fight the edge to let go,
But the voice in my head keeps getting louder,
Telling me that I'm not yet at the top if I can be able to take a look down and see the ground,
Who am I to judge the facts,
...
I have never been the type of person that takes things lightly,
Someone that has kept it quiet,
I've always taken things personal,
Made the loudest noises,
...
I understand we have to grow up at a certain point and let go of certain things but why do we let go more than we have to and lose focus of the goal. letting go to a point we forget that our enemies are waiting for our downfall. why don't we want to experience pain but don't want to let go it but rather embrace it? why do we hate death soo much but want to give up so easily and let it sweep you off your feet? all these questions keep running through my mind and I can't seem to find the answer? like why does life have to be a decision, really does make you question why you here when you didn't decide to? wandering what would have happened if you were born a little earlier or later, would things be better then? ever felt like every move you make doesn't leave a mark to show your hard work cause they were figuratively moves written down with a pencil so it was easily erased and your scars are written down with ink so it can leave a mark for you to remember? Wandering why you keep obsessing and stressing over the little things? A world I live in is a world I chose to see but how can I trust my eyes when I am blinded by the blinding lights? Was this the life I chose? was this the life I saw myself living or was it a recommendation o tried to follow from someones point of view? forever I will be left shackles, locked away from the truth.
...
You wanna talk about what's fair,
Let me tell you what I think of that word,
Having to battle your problems with no one to talk to about them cause you think they will judge you so you have to put on a cloak that makes everything seem alright. Hoping someone can see through the broken mirrors and smoke but everyone seems to get scared of a few cuts, everyone is scared of getting chocked in the smoke. I know I'm a Christian and the Bible says take care of your body for it is a holy temple but seems like people forgot about being a brothers keeper. Sh*t, miss me with that, dodging every L's like I'm in the metrix. I ain't even halfway but you can tell nothing is fair. I used to think we all go through the same thing but it was just a term to keep our minds imprisoned. We failed to break out of the cells cause we failed to think outside the box so we let others do the thinking for us. Ever thought yes all in pain yes, whether the same type or not but what makes it different is the feeling and impact it had on you? Sit down before you collapse cause I'm about to leave you speechless and the next step is up to you. What happened to those days you could talk to the family about anything but now you hide the truth for them. The truth hurts but would you risk knowing you'll be caught one day or confess it? Or why we find some form of peace when we dance with the devil on our shoulders? Switch the flow and take the next step cause you breaking free from the level you are on right now. If I took you back to school you would realise life is a comedian and a scam. Walking down the road not knowing you might live the next step or lose your life but you keep walking. A tear silently creeps down my cheek
I'm completely vulnerable and weak
...
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Thoughts
Laughs historically,
Its seems like I'm going back to the old days,
The days days when I used to write my verses like I'm on a roll,
Trynna keep my writing to myself,
But y'all got me thinking about being on a payroll,
Funny how I think I'm writing all my pain in curses,
Maybe I'm just superimposing them for verses,
I ain't trying to get famous with all these lyrics,
I'm starting to see all my haters plotting against me,
Thinking we on the same margin,
But little do they we like X, Y n we only cross paths,
Despite trying to kill my happy vibes with their stench of jealousy,
I'm always masked up like I'm in quarantine,
I ain't trynna show off how good am getting at this game,
It's now become a brame to me and I don't wanna lose that part of me,
Cause if I do, I will feel like an incomplete puzzle.