I opened the door to my bedroom
With a kitchen knife in one hand
All my calls had been denied
Nobody cares to understand
...
I owe nothing
I am just here
I think i need to start up my liquor addiction
This isn't the last time i buy lone star beer
...
Oh how saying things to you feels so nice
I like all your different outcomes
Sometimes you like to say sweet things too
How could i not love this boy? Who couldn't? Who?
...
Sweet sweet flower
Your beauty so strong
But sadly everything your doing is wrong
No one loves what your doing
...
I just wanna be good enough for someone
I just wanna be good enough for you
I think im gonna find a way out
Stomp my bloody organs out
...
What do you want
Do you want to watch me shake?
Do you want to watch as i get dryer and dryer over your sake?
Well its working
...
A way to cope
A way to heal my addiction
Run my nails down my throat
Hoping i'll get some sort of restriction
...
A Cool Night In October
I opened the door to my bedroom
With a kitchen knife in one hand
All my calls had been denied
Nobody cares to understand
I sat down on my bed
Knife on my pillow and headphones plugged into my ears
Bedroom door locked
My eyes starting to fill with tears
Angry songs riding up inside me
Any moment now
I will snap.
Any moment now it will be over
My life
Over
Just like that
I'll carve words into my skin
As hard as i'll let myself carve
I'm just tired of them getting mad
I'm tired of it all making me sad
I just want to be enough
Blood dripping down my hands
Am I enough?
Am i worth the pain?
Wont i be enough when im dead?
Wont i be enough when i am not another dread?
Hopefully they'd all forget
In the morning
When im dead
When im in a pool of my own blood
On the floor
In my bed
Somewhere lifeless feeling nothing
Thats what you wanted right?
Thats what you wanted?
Its what i needed to survive
I use to say
"I'd sell my whole body i think"
just to survive
But i dont think i will
I dont think my soul wants to revive
Start my shattered window up again
Into some beautiful piece of art
I'm just so tired baby I'm sorry
I don't want to feel this aching pain in my heart
Im a bird who will never fly
I'd rather touch a fan then the beautiful night sky
I think tonight is the night
I think tonight i die
I grab my kitchen knife with my hurting shredded hand
No one saw the warning signs
I don't deserve for my story to expand
I hold it close to my thigh
Already cut and bruised
I get my hand into ready position
Is this really what i want to do?