toasted rat

It begins with a smile, a friendly wave.
Hanging out, sharing everything.
We grow close, and our bond deepens.
But it breaks with fights, name calling, assumptions.
...

I hate my body.
It hates me too.
I look at myself
and see something that isn't true.
...

Who am I?

Once a child, with happiness and not one care in the world.
Now a struggling person, Not having a clue what to do with their life.
...

I might as well be mute.
My voice is horrid,
Its quiet and uneven,
I hate hearing it,
...

It never was enough,
I never was good enough was I?
These thoughts and doubts.
I'm not very cool,
...

Again, it feels as if everyone's gone, their presence still lingers, but
I'm alone with my thoughts, stuck in a dark void.
The feeling of loneliness is overwhelming
I feel unwanted, Unneeded,
...

I'm starting to realize,
I don't know true friendship,
I was never treated right as a friend,
Their lies and backstabbing,
...

It feels when I'm alone,
Darkness covers me like a blanket,
It cradles me in its arms,
My thoughts cirlcing in a never ending vortex of sadness and loneliness,
...

Stuck in this loop.
My mental state is deteriorating.
I can only seem to get worse.
I'm restless
...

I'm tired.
I cannot fall asleep.
In a state of constant fear.
...

Failure.
Again and Again.

I've failed again. I'm stuck and lost.
...

Insecure, always questioning myself, Always overthinking,
Anxiety weighing me down and holding me back.
The fear of being judged is overwhelming,
And I let my doubts consume me entirely.
...

Trust is a precious gift, Earned with compassion
But it is easily taken, Leaving scars that cannot be hidden
Trust breaks the hearts of those closest to us
And leaves our world spinning in doubt
...

The voice of self-doubt clouds my mind, Casting doubt upon my actions and words.
Every small thing is questioned, Did I do that right? Am I being too much? Or too little?
The crushing doubt weighs heavily on my heart, Making me feel worthless in the midst of my struggles.
Unable to find power in my own identity and purpose, I seek outside validation but find none
...

The loneliness I feel is overwhelming, Consuming me whole.
A constant emptiness in my heart, Leaving me feeling empty and alone.
The distance between me and the world feels insurmountable, And I fear I'll never be able to connect with others.
The pain of loneliness is a constant presence in my life, Always weighing on my mind and heart.
...

I stand in front of a broken mirror.
The reflection looks nothing like me.
'That's not me, ' I think. 'Tell the truth old broken mirror.'
I see the imperfections, and they drive me crazy.
...

Floating from one friend group to the next, I find myself unable to fit in.
None of them feel quite right, Leaving me feeling like a burden.
When no one asks me to hang out, I find myself alone.
Alone on the outside, Alone with my doubts and my fears.
...