My mother’s brother’s sister’s name is Grace
She’s my aunt and likes to go from place to place
My mother’s sister’s brother’s name is Brad
He’s my uncle and he is my cousin’s Dad
...
Where are my glasses, where did they go?
I’ve searched high, and I’ve searched low
I looked on the shelf and behind the TV
Where, oh where can my glasses be?
...
I live in the middle of nowhere, where nowhere's all around
And in the middle of nowhere, there are many nowhere sounds
Colourful birds in the middle of nowhere screech and squawk and trill
A choir of frogs sing in chorus in the centre of nowheresville
...
The air was alpine fresh and the lake surface glistening
Bird song trilled for those who were listening
What a great afternoon, thought Glenn feeling chipper
A perfect moment to start up his new whipper snipper
...
Brandy is a beagle
I've said a lot already
When you eat a tasty morsel
She can hold your gaze quite steady
...
Flash your pass at the sensor and it responds
With a blue light and two beeps, one short, one long
Drag open the door and step into a cold chamber
This is the world of the backup ranger
...
The plural in English is usually made
By adding an 's', so don't be afraid
Of making this sound so that it can be heard
At the end of the plural form of a word
...
Smoke, withdrawal, smoke, withdrawal, cough
Smoke, withdrawal, smoke, withdrawal, cough
Buy cigarettes, smoke, withdrawal, smoke, withdrawal, cough
Smoke, smoke, withdrawal, smoke, withdrawal, buy cigarettes, cough
...
Lemon pepper sauce has a lemony peppery zing
It's a lemony peppery, peppery lemony saucy kind of thing
Made with lemon zest and peppercorns and garlic that's been pressed
Splash it on your salad so it's tantalisingly, tastefully dressed
...
First you must pick your molehill, now here's a tip
The smaller the better, tinier than the tiniest microchip
From this speck you can conjure mountainous masses
Of soaring peaks dropping into bottomless crevasses
...
Driving along in her bread truck early one morn
With everything going exactly as norm
Margaret spied a lone wheel on the left trundling ahead
Turned to her brother, the newspaper he read
...
The ship in a bottle brought back from Bristol
The vase filled with flowers made of finest crystal
Wedding photographs of children proudly displayed
Souvenirs of wood and iron, some made of green jade
...
The doctor advised Leigh’s gallbladder must be removed
A few simple snips and his health would be improved
She told him to sign up for a Cholecystectomy, Laparoscopic
Four incisions are sliced for surgery microscopic
...
Addiction is addiction is addiction is addiction
3 parts fantasy and 3 parts fiction
Something which should be served a notice of eviction
Because all that it is is a freeloading friction
...
Even if your life is hard
Even if your face is scarred
Even if the road is rough
Even if your meat is tough
...
Not have another cigarette, you surely must be jesting
It is my sense of humour that you can only be testing
You obviously don't realise that without them I cannot function
I must have them before breakfast, after dinner and after luncheon
...
Charles Charles
Harrison Harrison
Darrowby Borg Capri
Looked great
...
Next is item six, a bag of nothing, who'll give me an opening price
A bag of nothing sitting on your shelf would look rather nice
Come on give me a bid, oh is that five dollars I hear
But surely I can get more for this perfectly formed sphere
...
Today Jeny is having a bouncy birthday blast
At the table will be included a distinctly canine cast
Denver, a delightful, dapper dynamo of origin half chihuahua
And Alfie, his maltese mate who helps him create brouhaha
...
Am I a cockapoo or one of those spoodles
Either way, I've got oodles and oodles
Of energy, I bounce off the walls
Literally, I don't care if I fall
...
I read a book by Allen Carr called 'Easy Way To Stop Smoking' and this book inspired me to start writing poems, mainly about addiction. I hope that my poems help people break free from addiction. They can all be found on my website www.escapesmoking.com and I now have a new website for my humorous poems which is www.humourwithlemonpeppersauce.weebly.com)
- It's All Relative: : Humour
My mother’s brother’s sister’s name is Grace
She’s my aunt and likes to go from place to place
My mother’s sister’s brother’s name is Brad
He’s my uncle and he is my cousin’s Dad
My grandmother on my mother’s side
Is my maternal gran, she is my grandfather’s bride
She also is my father’s mother-in-law
And not surprisingly they often go to war
My cousin is the nephew of my mother
His father happens to be my mother’s brother
My aunty’s niece is in fact myself
If you're confused please don't look at me for help
(Sydney, Australia - 2005)
This baby burns! ! ! ! Truly dedicated to a mission full of huff and puffery! ... Top marks for a campaign to Kick some butts! ! ! Being here is a one-stop-shop for this ex-smoker to breath and exhale some healthy deliberations! !
I think it's amazing that you weren't even addicted to smoking yourself! To think you have written these poems simply to help others..........that is really wonderful and not too many people are so thoughtful. Honestly, that is so nice! sincerely, Mary
Well, did you stop smoking? When did you start writing? H
Seems you have fetish about smoking and smokers but remember this, 'smoking is a dying habit'. Cheers, Jerry